As I sit here at the ocean watching the waves rolling in, listening to the people around me playing, smelling the salt in the air, feeling the wind through my hair, I can’t help but think about healing.
Many people talk about healing after bad relationships. What exactly am I healing from? Like I have never had one of those before. And I walked away just fine. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, emotionally torn down, and guess what? I’m still here.
I’m used to going from one relationship to the next. I don’t tend to stay single for too long and that has never bothered me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with continuing to look for someone to share my life with. Even if it isn’t forever and even if I don’t have the best taste in men. My ex told me many times that I don’t know how to be alone. Well, that is just bullshit. I prefer to be alone. But, wanting to share my life with someone doesn’t mean I’m codependent, it means I’m human.
Healing. What is healing? I can’t really tell you but I can tell you this. I finally accepted God back into my life. When I talked to God and admitted wholeheartedly I believe in Him and would put my life into His hands, it was like a huge weight was lifted from me. All the anger, resentment, hurt, emptiness… it all lifted. I FELT healed in that moment. I know there is something great after this life and I no longer worry about tomorrow. Because I know that God has a plan for me and I am putting my trust in Him.
So you know what? I’m healed bitches. God did that for me. And I’ve never been more at peace.